October 10th, 2012 by Rose Rosetree
Blog-Buddies, this is a Part 2 to yesterday’s Guest Post by Anonymous about her using several systems of Energy Spirituality (Cutting cords of attachment and empath empowerment skills and the skills of Spiritual Cleansing and Protection) to get over a long-time addiction to pot.
It’s a true tale of Undercover Rehab.
A weird part about calling myself “Anonymous” involves the stereotypes about druggies that I wanted to buck against back in the day –- assumptions that I’m some lowlife dirtball – unemployed, playing video games all day, stealing, hurting all those around me.
At the time, it actually thrilled me to be leading this double life. Hey:
- I’ve got a well-paying desk job.
- I look like a priss there.
- I’m well-mannered and well-kept.
- Yes, a highly compassionate, caring and involved individual.
I was using drugs to protect myself from reality, the pain of my upbringing, the hurt I felt throughout the world (including being an unskilled empath). I resented being a human.
Looking back on life with more STUFF and without skills of Empath Empowerment
I’m not ashamed of my history; I don’t have any bad feeling about it really.
I did the best I could with the information I had at the time within a culture that romanticizes pot use – from spiritual reasons to all sorts of health concerns.
I was attached to the image of being a highly functioning pothead. (And my version with weed was a morning, noon, and night habit.)
Additionally, I wanted to prove something about hurt and pain to our culture: That, again, we aren’t all derelicts and dirtballs (those of us who grew up abused and poor). Because of how I look, people were constantly assuming I was that I was from a well off and loving family, and I resented that.
Now what’s interesting to me? I’m at this new phase of being comfortable with who I am. Like I said, I’m happy! I don’t have this recirculating imprint (subconscious association, emotional STUFF at an astral and subconscious level) of pain in this world anymore.
Yet nothing external has changed in my life. I’m still at the same job. Same husband and child and friends, etc., that I couldn’t function with before.
I could count the happy moments of my life in a year on one hand before. It was a shockingly foreign state to me since being a child, and I’m 41 now.
Stronger sense of identity due to less STUFF, more Empath Empowerment skills
Becoming “more of me” has turned out to be nothing to be afraid of. (Secretly I was.)
Practicing the new skill sets of Energy Spirituality on myself has been a boon. Frankly, I’m glad I had to stop paying for personal sessions and workshops with Rose. It has forced me to work on my own self authority and confidence. And I love it.
Self-authority right on the surface of life
I wanted to share a story about what it is like, being me, of late.
So I’ve had the same haircut for just years. It’s one that I’ve hidden behind (with added glasses to hide behind). Okay, I also used to have a thing about not wanting to stand out.
Well, a couple of months ago I decided to finally get a real “do” and re-up my contact script. Simultaneously I did the technique of Removing Outdated Facades from “Use Your Power of Command for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection.”
And it’s been a hoot. I cannot tell you how many people did not recognize me. Co-workers, neighbors, friends I ran into on the street.
It has been hilarious! Oddly enough I actually did become hidden for once, LOL!
This really has been a “soul thrill,” not just the hairdo, but this whole incremental process.
Step by step, actively choosing what I personally wanted MORE of in life with each phone session with Rose…. (Framing intentions for a healing session in the positive is a whole process in and of itself. Wow!)
My daily life improving in such mind-blowing, simple, subjective ways. Goofy, yet personally profound, examples. Such as? Using the good utensils for once, stopping eating when I’m full, cleaning up my diet with ease.
Now I easily can sit down to mediate, or do chores, or do artwork –- not “One step forward, two steps back,” this constant state of anguish and rationalization that used to be my life.
As for the drug use, I’ve only thought about it twice, both times while bored camping. It had nothing to do with needing weed as a coping mechanism.
I face relationships with adult skills (not trapped with how I was imprinted as a small child). And I can clearly identify my own needs in my relationships at home and work – empath empowerment skills are used at home and work, also.
I want to end this post with a word of encouragement. In one of my first sessions with Rose, she said how I was mad, so mad at God, for being soooo let down, for being so abandoned and hurt on this Earth.
I had projected all the power of that experience onto my Mom. But to hear the truth of my experience, my deepest fears, hatreds and resentments, put out on the table, done with compassion, with no room for self-pity, with a sense of respect from Rose….
I was given my dignity about all my experiences (“good” and “bad”) when I was living in shame. This Rose is a good egg. I have gratitude for that.
We’re all works in progress. That is not lost on me (in spite of all my “happy talk”). But now I experience my life on my own terms.
- I’m not a reaction-machine; I don’t personalize; I can clearly see other people’s limitations.
- I am assertive and clear about sticky situations. I can see what I want out of life, as it does evolve and change. And I’m at ease with the pace of it.
- I feel motivated, confident and loved. Also, I experience these things daily, not annually. My human experience is not blocked or numbed. It’s welcomed.
I’m marveling that I’m the same human being. It feels good to have this reflection today!